i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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