never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize