you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need water and some morals
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
