can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
