K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
