Please, let me fuck your mom
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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