My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize