Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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(503): View more from Oregon

My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers

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(716): View more from New York

Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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(425): View more from Washington

Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted

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