I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
