Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
