Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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