so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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