You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
