the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
sarcasm needs its own font
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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