Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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