My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
