You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to calm my uterus...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
