Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
