Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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