Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
