i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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