Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
