Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
