Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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