Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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