Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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