so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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