More tranny stories later!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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