I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
