I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
