I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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