we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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