dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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