if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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