To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
