I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
