I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
