everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
