Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
