Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
