I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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