I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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