it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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