We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
