Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
