He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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