I am puke
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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