how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
