What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
