I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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