how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
