i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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