I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
