I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize