idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
