no, he came in my armpit
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
