Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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