From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
