You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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