You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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