Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Randomize