did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
