One girl and one boy is just not enough.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
