I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
