ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did I show you my penis last night?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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