I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
