I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
