It's like God shit irony all over that family
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
