What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
