i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
