You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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