you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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