Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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